Kristin. The furloughed fertility nurse.

At 3 p.m. on a Tuesday in late March, Kristin and her coworkers were called into a meeting and told, “Today is your last day.” The fertility specialist clinic in Pennsylvania she works at as a fertility nurse would close due to Coronavirus, and all employees would be furloughed. 

The news, while abrupt, did not come as a total surprise. In the weeks leading up to being furloughed, Kristin said the office had implemented changes such as limiting the number of patients coming in and out of the practice. Kristin’s clinic is one of a network of seven in eastern Pennsylvania. One by one, those offices began to close in March. Her’s was one of the last two to remain open before the practice ceased all non-emergency care completely. 

“It was a day-by-day thing,” Kristin said. “We had been hearing what places were closing. As it was happening, we were questioning if they would close us, and eventually they did.” 

FERTILITY TREATMENTS PUT ON HOLD
Kristin knows closing was the right decision for patient health and safety. But that did not make it easier on her or those she cares for. The fertility specialist practice treats women who experience pain or problems with reproduction and fertility. Many women in her practice’s care are trying to get pregnant through in vitro fertilization. Having to pause those procedures can be heartbreaking for women who were hoping to start or grow their families. 

“I was calling patients crying with them on the phone because I know where they were at with everything,” Kristin said. 

Many patients were gracious and understanding despite how devastated they felt. She reassured patients that it was safer, for the time being, to hold off on fertility procedures. There are far too many unknown health implications of the Coronavirus that could cloud a pregnancy — what should be a happy, celebratory and positive period in a woman’s life.

“If anything is questionable on a regular basis, without COVID 19 as a factor, that would be something we would work on,” Kristin said of her work. “Why would we do anything differently during a global pandemic? I know how it feels to want something so badly and be waiting for it. But I also know that once that moment comes, you don't want to question anything.” 

Waiting, however hard, is the safest option right now. 

“Imagine getting that one thing you want your entire life, and bad news comes right after,” Kristin said. “Imagine a little kid with a balloon, and it pops.”

AN INTROSPECTION 
Kristin has been a registered nurse for 12 years. She loves the work she does, too. Being furloughed has made her realize just how much of an impact her job has had on her life. 

“Work is so much of a focus. It has been interesting to see just how much it was,” she said. “Now that is gone.” 

Kristin did think about temporarily going back to work at a hospital during her furlough. However, she also knew doing so during a pandemic could put her family at risk and keep her away from her 7-year-old daughter. For the time being, Kristin decided to use this rare down time to take a breath, take stock of her personal life and invest in some much-needed self care. She has been going on long walks multiple times a day to clear her head and stay active.

“I am really thinking about things a lot more,” Kristin said. “You don't think about things you are dealing with when you are busy, instead you are pushing them away. This is forcing you to take a look and say, ‘These are things you need to be more aware of and think about.’” 

Over the last month, Kristin has cooked and baked more than usual. She organized her home and got rid of old clothes, too. She also made sure family members were being taken care of, and dropped off toys to keep her nieces and nephews busy (and to provide some relief to her cousins who are home nonstop with two young children). 

Had Kristin not been furloughed, she knows she would not have had the time to do any of these things. 

“Life would still be going at a pace that is too fast to handle,” she said. 

STAYIN CLOSE, FROM AFAR
When I spoke to Kristin more than a week ago, she did not know when she would be returning to work. The realization that she was an out of work single mother weighed on her — it “grabs you by the chest” at times, she said. 

Today, however, she is back at the clinic. Just a few days ago, she was notified that her office would begin to see patients again as of Monday, April 26. The state of Pennsylvania is still under a stay-at-home order, so there are many questions about how business will be conducted as residents are told to remain quarantined. Going back to work worries Kristin, and in the days and weeks ahead, she will learn more about what her post-furloughed workday looks like. 

Even more than herself, though, Kristin worries about all the people she knows and loves who may still be impacted by the Coronavirus. The innate caretaker in her comes out. She wants to help in any way she can, even if she physically cannot be with all of her loved ones right now. 

In addition to her full-time job as a fertility nurse, Kristin had been working a few days a week at a local brewery for the last six months or so. The extra money was great, sure, but what she liked most about the job was the human interaction. She liked serving friends and members of the community a beer and hearing about their lives. But that is gone for now, too, as all restaurants and bars are closed.

Through this all, Kristin has realized she needs to maintain connections with people in any way she can. Reaching out to loved ones through a phone call, text or video chat has been something that has kept her going through this difficult time. 

“My big proponent from the beginning was to keep in touch with people who keep you happy — keep in touch with other humans,” she said. “I feel like when I talk to people, I feel better for that moment.”

LEARN MORE ABOUT KRISTIN…

What is your inspiration to keep going?
“My daughter, otherwise I am not sure sure how I would handle this. Hopefully there is an end in sight, and can figure things out and move forward.”

What are you grateful for at this moment?
“I am grateful to all of my family and friends. Without those people, every single one of them, this would be horrible.”

What are you most looking forward to when things “get back to normal?”
“I want to be able to hug people!”