Brittany. The expectant first-time mother.
Brittany didn’t imagine she would be giving birth to her first child in the middle of a global pandemic.
“This is not exactly what I thought I would be bringing a baby into, that is for sure,” she said. “It is wild.”
Who could imagine such a scenario?
Brittany, my cousin, and her husband were expecting a bit of chaos to come their way when they found out last fall they were pregnant. Having a kid completely changes your life, and they knew that.
They also knew they would be moving shortly before Brittany’s due date in mid-May. Their current one-bedroom apartment was not going to accommodate their growing family. They planned to purchase their first home or find a larger place to rent before their daughter was born. Months ago, their biggest concerns were relocating, creating a cozy nursery and mentally preparing as best they could for how different their lives would become once they had a newborn to care for.
Then the Coronavirus upended life as we knew it.
“Mentally, I am all over the place,” Brittany said. “Some days I am totally good, other days I am not good.”
Figuring out how to put a crib together is the least of Brittany’s worries. Instead, it is the fear of the unknown. What will going into labor be like in the middle of an unprecedented, modern day health crisis?
“I assumed we would be ready to have a baby by now, and I would feel more comfortable,” she said. “Now everything seems so uncertain. Everything is constantly changing.”
‘IT JUST KEEPS GETTING WORSE’
As Brittany approaches her last month of pregnancy, weekly check-ins with her doctor have become routine. Over the last month, though, she has witnessed her doctor becoming more concerned with how COVID-19 is increasingly impacting how women are giving birth at hospitals.
Just three weeks ago, Brittany said her doctor told her deliveries were running “fairly normal.” Today, they are not.
“It just keeps getting worse,” Brittany said.
EXPECTATIONS VS. REALITY
At the moment, Brittany will be allowed one “support person” to be with her while she is giving birth in May — so long as that person is healthy and displays no symptoms related to COVID-19 or has a fever. That part of the new hospital regulations does not bother Brittany so much — she only ever wanted her husband Connor by her side as she delivered their baby girl.
It is the other implications of the hospital regulations that are more difficult to accept.
Brittany is the oldest child in her family, and the first among her siblings to have a baby. Her parents (my aunt and uncle) are not allowed to be in the waiting room while Brittany gives birth. They will not be able to hold their first grandchild shortly after she is born.
Neither will Brittany’s two younger brothers. They won’t be able to meet the baby girl who made them uncles for the first time. And they will not be able to give their big sister a pat on the back for, once again, proving she is the strong woman they always knew she was.
“I think over the last couple weeks, we started to realize no one is going to be able to visit,” Brittany said. “And that is what is so hard.”
WHAT MATTERS MOST
When Coronavirus was just beginning to cause concern in the United States, one of my first thoughts was of Brittany. Giving birth for the first time can be scary under normal circumstances. Throw a worldwide pandemic into the mix, and it can make it seem terrifying. But if anyone can stay calm during all this, it is Brittany. I have never seen her stressed. She is not easily defeated. She is, however, good at finding the humor in every situation.
Brittany and I began our phone conversation last week joking around at how “large and uncomfortable” she was and how much the baby was kicking lately.
“She moves constantly! All the time,” Brittany said, laughing. “It is good, but it also doesn't feel great most of the time. She is constantly kicking me and shoving her foot out the side of my stomach.”
By this point, both of us were laughing pretty hard.
“People say baby kicks are exciting and they describe it in this ‘beautiful way,’” Brittany continued. “I feel like she is really aggressive!”
It is nice to hear her talk about normal pregnancy woes for a second — to not dwell on the things that take away from the fact that being pregnant is truly a beautiful experience, even if sometimes uncomfortable. It helps for Brittany to focus on the positives when she feels overwhelmed. She is healthy and safe, she reminds herself. The baby is healthy and safe, too. And that is what matters most.
“Despite all the other changes, as far as our expectations as what life was going to be like, it is going to be fine,” Brittany said. “We are going to be fine. Life will go back to normal eventually.”
LEARN MORE ABOUT BRITTANY…
WHAT IS YOUR INSPIRATION TO KEEP GOING?
This baby!
WHAT ARE YOU GRATEFUL FOR AT THIS MOMENT?
A safe home and supportive family and friends.
WHAT ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO WHEN THINGS “GET BACK TO NORMAL”?
Introducing my daughter to everyone!